July 1, 2016

I felt horrible. Really, exceptionally horrible. The longer I thought about what I'd said to Kristoff in my frustration, the more ashamed of myself I became. Surely I wasn't so self centered as to be oblivious to how caring and supportive all of my friends are. Especially Kristoff. I had said he was never there for me - but in truth, he's always there. Even when I'm too blind to see it.

I stood waiting in the hallway, hoping to run into my tall friend so I could properly apologize and reconcile our relationship.

I didn't have to wait long.

"Kristoff?" My voice was tentative, saddened.

"Yes?" His was hesitant.

"Can I talk to you?"

A very flat "of course."

I swallowed.

"I'm sorry for what I said about you not being there or caring about me. That was a horrible, ignorant thing to say and I'm incredibly sorry."

Kristoff looked more receptive -  almost hopeful.

"Not only was it unkind, it was incorrect. You're always there when I need you - I don't know how I could have forgotten. Please, don't stay mad."

"I'm not mad," he said softly. Kristoff sounded more hurt than angry or upset.

I reached out and touched his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Kristoff. You're one of my best friends!"

For some reason, that statement made him frown almost imperceptively. Still, he pulled me close in a hug and I could swear I heard him mumble "exactly" under his breath.

I pulled away.

Smiling at my friend, I walked away (albeit a bit confused.) He didn't smile back, or even move.

Why on earth was Kristoff acting so strange?

-Anna

June 14, 2016

I apologize for the delay in posting this. I've debated on whether or not I should post it at all... but I finally came to the conclusion that leaving out the details of what happened in June was unfair to my readers and unfair to... well, you'll see. Essentially, I feel that I must share all simply because in order to understand the story, you (the reader) must know all. What you will think of me after reading I don't know. I only hope you will find it in your hearts to understand and forgive.

***

Summer got very dull very fast. It was too hot to stay outside in heavy Norwegian clothing, and all of my friends seemed to be busy every time I tried to do something with them. After two weeks, I'd had enough. I really needed to spend some time with someone - anyone! I started by looking for Olaf.

When I found him, he was working on a puzzle. I offered to help him, but he pointed out that he was almost done. I took that to mean that he didn't want my assistance, so I went off to find Rapunzel.

She was reading a book. I've spent afternoons reading with Rapunzel before, and I knew that, while she'd be happy to read with me in silence, she wouldn't want to chat. That, I realized, was exactly what I needed - a chat.

I found Kristoff playing Tetris. Based on my interactions with my other friends, I figured he would want me to leave him alone, too, so I went to stare out the window and wallow in self pity think.

After feeling sorry for myself for a few minutes, I realized I was wasting time. Besides, I didn't know Kristoff wanted me to leave him alone - even if I felt sure my other friends did. I decided I should at least try to go talk to him.

For some reason. my plastic heart began to pound in my chest the closer I got. I'm sure it was just because I only had one real chance to talk to a friend left. Anyway, I swallowed hard and sidled over to Kristoff.

"Hello, there," I smiled.

"Hi, Anna." Kristoff seemed pretty happy to see me.

"What are you up to?"

"Just playing Tetris."

An awkward pause.

I looked down at him.

"Do you ever feel like people are avoiding you?"

"Not really, why?"

"Well, Olaf's busy. Rapunzel's busy. You're busy. Everyone's busy. This whole summer!"

"It's only been about two weeks of summer," Kristoff said calmly. "I'm sure everyone will stop being unendingly busy soon."

I sat down next to him.

"Oh? How do you know?"

"Well, it's hot and everyone gets a little bored and lazy during the early summer. Everyone else has just found ways to channel that boredom that don't involve other people." Kristoff's arm was touching mine.

For some reason, that statement annoyed me. Maybe it was because I felt excluded. Maybe I felt like Kristoff was saying I was clingy and needy. Maybe I felt like he was being condescending. Whatever the reason, Kristoff's words struck a nerve. I stood back up.

"So you're saying - what, exactly? That they should all just ignore me?"

"No! I said that everyone has summer ennui, but I'm sure they'll get over it soon! It has nothing to do with you, personally!"

"Oh, of course it doesn't! Nothing ever has anything to do with me, does it? At least not with you! All you seem to do anymore is avoid me! You've never been there for me when I've needed you!"

My shouting cut off when Kristoff stood up. He looked stricken. Without saying a word, he turned on his heel and walked away.

As I watched his retreating back, I felt my anger recede a bit to make way for a knotted mess of new, even more uncomfortable feelings.

What had I done?

-Anna

May 19, 2016

Welcome back to another fabulous Just Anna Book Club meeting!

I read Cinder by Marissa Meyer, Rapunzel read Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, and Olaf read Peter Pan: Return to Never-land!

Me: Rapunzel, why did you choose to read the original Alice?

Rapunzel: I've always liked the idea of Wonderland and I wanted to know where the story started!

Me: What was your favorite part?

Rapunzel: I've always loved the John Tenniel illustrations. They really make the story come alive.

Olaf: Why is your book all flat, Anna?

Me: It's an eBook on a Kindle. The whole book - and a bunch of other books - is saved on this device.

Olaf: Oh, wow! What was your favorite part of the eBook?

Me: When Cinder, a cyborg mechanic, meets Prince Kai at the market. What a fascinating twist on the classic Cinderella story!

Rapunzel: Did you like your book, Olaf?

Olaf: Yes, I did! I liked how it was about Wendy's daughter.

Rapunzel: What was your favorite part?

Olaf: No spoilers, but I liked it when the really bad, scary thing was reversed.

Well, that concludes another Just Anna book club meeting! Thank you for your time and see you later!!

-Anna

April 23, 2016: Collaboration Post with Elsa of A Doll's Life for Me

I am pleased to announce my first ever collaboration post with the lovely Elsa of A Doll's Life for Me! After she gave me a shout out on her blog, I decided it was high time that we get to know each other as more than just online friends. So, I invited her over for tea. I sent it to her in an email, hoping she would get it before her human did as her human does not know that dolls are alive like MyLittleMegara does.

I talked to MyLittleMegara, who organized it so she'd be able to bring Elsa over without She suspecting about dolls being alive: MyLittleMegara would "fix Elsa's hair" for She. MyLittleMegara was confident that this would work, so I agreed and waited for Elsa to arrive.

Elsa knocked three times. She opened the door and I waved. She looked lovely in a Frozen Fever-style dress that looked like it had been handmade just for her. I wondered if MyLittleMegara had made it for her. It seemed a bit strange to see her in real life after keeping up with her solely via the internet before, but I was very glad to finally meet her.

I shook Elsa's hand.  Elsa's hand was cool and firm, just as one would expect from a snow queen. I felt like I needed to be on my best behavior. I wanted to hug her, but I didn't want to do anything to her sequined bodice by accident. We exchanged a few polite comments about the weather. After a while, I asked if she would like to have tea outside. Elsa smiled and nodded, and we went out to the back yard.

MyLittleMegara had set up a picnic spot earlier, and I thought everything looked very nice. Elsa must have, too, as she took one look at the tea set and sighed. "This is lovely," she commented. I beamed. We relaxed into an easy, friendly conversation, nothing like the forced politeness from before.

I offered my guest cream and sugar. The sugar cubes were adorable and heart shaped, and Elsa began squealing with delight when she saw them. I couldn't help but join in. Joyful squealing is contagious, you know.

I took cream and sugar, but Elsa only wanted sugar. It made sense to me, she seemed the type to want her tea to be simpler. Sort of like how Kristoff doesn't really like fancy drinks at all... just black coffee.

I began to feel a sisterly bond forming between Elsa and I while we sipped our tea and chatted. We were getting along famously.

Elsa told me about her friends Loki and Olaf, and I told her about Kristoff, Rapunzel, and Olaf. We laughed about how we both know Olafs. I confessed how glad I was to see her since I can get a little lonely, given how few dolls I really know. I hadn't anticipated sharing that with anybody, and was a bit surprised when it came tumbling out of my mouth. Elsa took it in stride, though, and I was grateful.

We had our treats... all chocolate for me, and all vanilla for Elsa. Macaroons and cookies... they were delicious, and absolutely perfectly proportioned.

I think I could happily have had three hundred more macaroons.

"A toast!" I declared, as I finished my cookie.

"A toast!" Elsa giggled, "To delicious tea and wonderful treats!"

"Indeed!" We clinked cookies and crumbs went everywhere.

"Okay, so that might have failed," I mumbled, brushing the mess off my skirt.

Elsa began laughing. I did too. It was so nice to be out in the sunshine with a great new friend.

When that was finished, we walked around the yard enjoying the warm sun. The weather was perfect, with the sun rolling high in the sapphire sky... yes, sorry, anyway...

We stopped by some sweet smelling flowers out front. Elsa kept to the shadows initially, seemingly afraid of every passing car. As if the people in the cars would notice two dolls and we would break the Code of Dolls. I managed to coax her over to the flowerbeds despite her fear. "Aren't they lovely this time of year?" I squealed.

"Yes, very!" Elsa nodded. I saw that she was losing her nervousness.

I love tulips, and I hadn't had a chance to visit them yet this year.

This angular one reminded me of the flower in Elsa's hair.

I wish the tulips would bloom all year long!

I looked away from the flowers to see Elsa sprawled out on the grass, soaking up the sun.

I asked what she was doing, and she replied "She never lets me go outside, this is so nice!"

After lying there for a few minutes, Elsa got back up and we went to the porch to sit on the swing and talk some more. Out of the blue, Elsa started telling me about a hero named Steve.

I listened carefully, smiling in all the right places and sighing in all the sad ones. Poor Elsa has been through a lot. A nagging little voice in the back of my head wondered what it'd be like if Kristoff were gone for that long. Not that I felt THAT way, about him, of course... we're just friends. Right? Anyway, there were more important things to think about, so I pushed that thought down.

I was glad that she'd shared, I felt like maybe she was starting to see me as a trustworthy friend.

We continued to walk and talk for a while, enjoying the lovely weather and each others' company.

I heard MyLittleMegara saying something to She, who had evidently just come to pick up Elsa.

We said our goodbyes, promised to do something like this again soon, and Elsa left.

I think I may have made a great new friend.

-Anna (and Elsa!)

If you wish to see Elsa's point of view, you can check out her post here.