June 14, 2016

I apologize for the delay in posting this. I've debated on whether or not I should post it at all... but I finally came to the conclusion that leaving out the details of what happened in June was unfair to my readers and unfair to... well, you'll see. Essentially, I feel that I must share all simply because in order to understand the story, you (the reader) must know all. What you will think of me after reading I don't know. I only hope you will find it in your hearts to understand and forgive.

***

Summer got very dull very fast. It was too hot to stay outside in heavy Norwegian clothing, and all of my friends seemed to be busy every time I tried to do something with them. After two weeks, I'd had enough. I really needed to spend some time with someone - anyone! I started by looking for Olaf.

When I found him, he was working on a puzzle. I offered to help him, but he pointed out that he was almost done. I took that to mean that he didn't want my assistance, so I went off to find Rapunzel.

She was reading a book. I've spent afternoons reading with Rapunzel before, and I knew that, while she'd be happy to read with me in silence, she wouldn't want to chat. That, I realized, was exactly what I needed - a chat.

I found Kristoff playing Tetris. Based on my interactions with my other friends, I figured he would want me to leave him alone, too, so I went to stare out the window and wallow in self pity think.

After feeling sorry for myself for a few minutes, I realized I was wasting time. Besides, I didn't know Kristoff wanted me to leave him alone - even if I felt sure my other friends did. I decided I should at least try to go talk to him.

For some reason. my plastic heart began to pound in my chest the closer I got. I'm sure it was just because I only had one real chance to talk to a friend left. Anyway, I swallowed hard and sidled over to Kristoff.

"Hello, there," I smiled.

"Hi, Anna." Kristoff seemed pretty happy to see me.

"What are you up to?"

"Just playing Tetris."

An awkward pause.

I looked down at him.

"Do you ever feel like people are avoiding you?"

"Not really, why?"

"Well, Olaf's busy. Rapunzel's busy. You're busy. Everyone's busy. This whole summer!"

"It's only been about two weeks of summer," Kristoff said calmly. "I'm sure everyone will stop being unendingly busy soon."

I sat down next to him.

"Oh? How do you know?"

"Well, it's hot and everyone gets a little bored and lazy during the early summer. Everyone else has just found ways to channel that boredom that don't involve other people." Kristoff's arm was touching mine.

For some reason, that statement annoyed me. Maybe it was because I felt excluded. Maybe I felt like Kristoff was saying I was clingy and needy. Maybe I felt like he was being condescending. Whatever the reason, Kristoff's words struck a nerve. I stood back up.

"So you're saying - what, exactly? That they should all just ignore me?"

"No! I said that everyone has summer ennui, but I'm sure they'll get over it soon! It has nothing to do with you, personally!"

"Oh, of course it doesn't! Nothing ever has anything to do with me, does it? At least not with you! All you seem to do anymore is avoid me! You've never been there for me when I've needed you!"

My shouting cut off when Kristoff stood up. He looked stricken. Without saying a word, he turned on his heel and walked away.

As I watched his retreating back, I felt my anger recede a bit to make way for a knotted mess of new, even more uncomfortable feelings.

What had I done?

-Anna